Yesterday after work, I was more mindful of the fact that I almost always have a negative inner dialogue on the drive home. It’s the sob story of self pity as the last one leaving the office, with it being dark outside, cold outside, driving home, feeling like I’m impatiently rushing home, because I’d rather be anywhere than driving in the dark after work when it’s late already. So as I remember to monitor myself and these negative thoughts, I remember to keep the peace of God, and that I should not be affected by my situation no matter how good or bad.
But I come to realize, it is hard to feel peaceful and content driving home late at night because you feel like you would rather be somewhere else. There is a good experience, like that of being home with your loved ones, that breeds the discontent. Then I realize that is why what is considered “good” or “pleasurable” is as detrimental to your peace of mind, as what is considered “bad” or “upsetting”. As long as you value or seek what is pleasurable, even if that is quietness, then your peace of mind will be dependent on external circumstances. If you can find inner peace irregardless of what is going on around you, good or bad, whether you are in a zen garden or in bumper to bumper traffic, then that is real peace. So its not enough to say you will release unpleasant or upsetting things, but also to release what is considered pleasant or good.
You may consider this to be a loss, to be asked to give up or be unaffected by what is pleasant or good. But if what you value or consider pleasant, is based on external things, events, people, or relationships, then it is a setup for loss, as all of that must have opposites. You will never truly be at peace. If you give up all that, then you can find true eternal peace and joy and happiness, that comes from within, from God or Source, not from this world. Your ego doesn’t see it, but you give up nothing for everything.
So next time you are in a situation where you feel like you’d rather be somewhere else, or doing something else, or with someone else, remember to not be affected, and that your preference or judgment is based on nothing, that you can find inner peace and joy which is available to you, at all times, anywhere, even if you are driving home late at night after work. Release your inner sob story. Watch your life through the loving eyes of God, knowing all is perfect, no matter what is happening you are loved, you are love, so release your inner sob story for the love story it truly is.
