How often do we say to ourselves that we want to live our lives to the fullest? We wake up each morning so full of hope for the new day. We tell ourselves we will break the spell of the ego. We will no longer be trapped lab rats, running in circles. Sure, most weekdays we just drearily wake up and relent to the fact that we have no choice but to go to work. But how about those weekends when you have no set plans or commitments? Then the weekend goes by and on Monday you can’t remember what you did. Or you realize it was the same ‘ol same ‘ol. You were lured into the safe lull of mindlessness.
Many of us feel that our jobs are mindless activities, and we accept it as something that needs to be done – a means to an end. But if we are really honest with ourselves, 95% of what we do is mindless activity. We are like robots with automatic and predictable responses. We are on autopilot, allowing our unconscious mind to steer, like when we are daydreaming while driving on the freeway. Maybe we are too preoccupied about something that happened yesterday, what someone said to us, or concerned about a future work or social event. We’re too distracted to be present. But even when we are present, still we choose to do the same mindless things over and over. Why? Because there is an addicting safety and familiarity in mindless activities like watching TV, surfing the internet or social media, playing video games, and so on. At the end of the activity, what has really happened? Nonexistent images flashed before your eyes for hours, hypnotizing you, during which time your mind was literally blank.
But it’s not just the TV or computer or iPhone that can hypnotize you into mindlessness. Pretty much any routine activity can have the same mindlessness effect. Cleaning the house, washing the dishes, folding the clothes, doing the bills, and doing tasks for work. If we are not present, we are basically mindless automatons. Because they are “routine activities” which have already been well programmed into our unconscious autopilot, we know we can just tune out and not be present during these mindless activities.
Our egos love to be mindless, that is after all why we were born into bodies to begin with – to escape from the mind. We are afraid to use our minds. We think it will take too much effort. We think we will be judged. We are worried about doing something new and failing. So despite how much we try to be mindful and present, five minutes later we are going about our daily routines again totally mindlessly and not even realizing it.
There is a benefit in challenging yourself to try new experiences, to doing something outside your comfort zone, to break the pattern and routine. It doesn’t have to be extreme. We’re not necessarily talking about skydiving or mountain climbing. It could be something as simple as starting up a conversation with someone at work you normally would walk past without a second thought. It could be exploring a new beach or new part of town. It could be a creative project at home with your loved ones. The point is that it helps to try something new, where your unconscious autopilot can’t help you, and so you have to be present. When you think about it, those are the moments in life when we really feel alive. That’s why the “first times” in life are so memorable – the first time we kissed someone, the first time we were at a thrilling basketball game, the first time we bought a house, the first time we drove a car. In those new experiences, we have no past experiences to fall back on, so we have to be present. But after the fifth or hundredth time we have the same experience, we no longer see the present. We only see the past. We let it become mindless.
Sure those new experiences might have felt scary, even terrifying to you, because of the unknown, which freaks out the ego. The ego doesn’t like the unknown. It likes to plan and predict and have contingency plans. That is why routine activities feel so secure and safe. Because we’ve done them hundreds of times already, we know what will happen already. But that is just a sure sign that we don’t trust divine guidance yet. If we honestly trusted a higher loving power to guide and protect us, then we wouldn’t fear the unknown and worry about the future so much. We’d be more spontaneous. We’d be more open to new experiences that might have terrified us before. When we’re fearful, it’s a sign that we are relying on our own strength. When we’re scared, we hide back in “Plato’s cave” of mindlessness, where things are the same and will always be the same – trapped in the mindlessness of the automatons of our bodies.
So the first thing we have to do is to trust. Trust that intuition telling you to fly to Europe to see that spiritual healer. Trust that things will work out, whether it’s starting a new career path, taking a hobby and turning it into a online business, or just inviting friends over for a supper club. When you live from a place of love and trust, rather than fear, you live your life more freely – more open to intuition and new experiences.
Because your mind is untrained and easily falls into the lull of mindlessness, it helps to be stimulated by looking for new things to do, new activities and experiences. Challenge your comfort zones. Do something to scare your ego a little bit everyday. It’s OK – say hi to that stranger, try biking the neighborhood trails, buy some sexy lingerie. The possibilities are endless if you are open to it. We get into a rut, thinking there is nothing new to do in life, that it’s all been done already. But there are countless “new” things to do every day. Even the little things. Try a new recipe for dinner. Start a new home improvement project. Plan a weekend stay-cation. Our imagination is our most powerful and unlimited ability, but often underused or dismissed as fantasy. When we do these new activities and have these new experiences, we stimulate our minds to stay present rather than mindlessly going on cruise control while our minds are preoccupied with meaningless worries or thoughts about the past. By virtue of being new, these activities keep us engaged.
This approach however should be recognized for what it is: “training wheels” for the mind. It is a means to an end, but not an end in itself. You don’t want to become dependent on having to have new activities, or that too can become an addiction for the mind as well, like a restless adrenaline junkie. The emphasis is not on the activity (the form) but on the mind (the content). Or even more dangerous, we may end up feeling like we need to change for the sake of the change itself, then it becomes dissatisfaction. How many mid-life crises or divorces have resulted from this mistaken emphasis on changing the form rather than the content.
Ultimately, the real long term solution is to train ourselves to be present and mindful all the time, regardless of what we are doing. It’s not about the activity, which is all external and neutral, but it is about our minds. We can train ourselves to be vigilant of our mindfulness and be present even when doing the same routine tasks we do every day at home or work. All activities are in essence the same, none holier or more special than the other – either climbing to the peak of Everest or sitting quietly on your couch. Regardless of the physical activity, you can be fully present and mindful, and do that seemingly routine activity with purpose, and giving it to God – that is what makes it holy.
In the meantime, stop taking life so seriously. It’s all an illusion. The worst thing that could happen is that you live your whole life, however long that is, in fear. Stop worrying about what others think about you. Ironically, people like you more when you stop worrying about what they think and just be yourself. So be happy, be spontaneous, be silly, be trusting enough to be you. Be alive!
